Sunday, November 29, 2009

REM and Breaking Dawn.

So apparently, if you sleep for three hours you will be less tired than if you sleep for four hours. And generally one sleeps better if the number of hours is divisible by three, the reason being that three hours is a full cycle of REM. (Rapid Eye Movement)

I thought I would post this useless information for you. Personally I find it FASCINATING, and I plan on testing it as soon as the opportunity presents itself. Anyone else? Or am I alone in this?

I enjoy useless information.

I also recently finished the fourth Twilight book, Breaking Dawn. (I know... please don't hate me.) I made some notes while reading it, and I thought I would post them. They're pretty amusing in their disjointed form, but if you really want to know what the heck I'm talking about, go read this book. But be forewarned. It will scar you. Or make a fangirl clone out of you. Either one.


Pge 1
Arrogant. Also the epitome of Mary-Sueness.

Pge 4
Self absorbed.
GASP! Pop tarts and shoelaces? How does she live?

Pge 6
I though she was supposed to be happy about marrying Edward? I thought that was the whole point of THREE FREAKING BOOKS.

Pge 8
Arrogance

Pge 9
MY JACOB? Is she serious?
I’m not against her having a best friend that she loves a lot, but if I were Edward I'd be a heck of a lot more worried than he is.

Pge 10
Oh yeah. Rawr, Leah.

Pge 13
Yeah. You’re barely legal, Bella. Glad someone mentioned it.

Pge 15
Traditionally? Edward, no offence, but you need to spend more time in this century.


Pge 24
We get it. Edward’s awesome. Shut up, please.

Pge 27
Stop making fun of Mike!

Pge 29
So Bella gets no bachelor party? Typical.

Pge 37
Horrible foreshadowing! Why must Bella constantly have prophetic dreams?

Pge 44
I really really want to see Alice in her dress.

Pge 50
Yay Seth!

Pge 53
Aw, so Mike + Jessica only get to be ‘nice’ as opposed to whatever you + Edward is?

Pge 56
Don’t be so mean to Mike! What has he done? Oh, right… NOTHING.

Pge 58
That’s nice, Edward. Leave Bella with her BEST FRIEND. Nice and tactful.


Pge 60
No. No you haven’t.

Pge 64
Edward is RUINING YOUR LIFE!!!!!

Pge 65
Except fly. You can’t fly. And you can’t make me enjoy your book.

Pge 85
The moon is not beautiful with Bella there. And Bella is not allowed to comment on the moon’s beauty because that would be disusing herself.
My, you have an interesting view of the world, Edward.

Pge 90
B: I’m fine.
E: No, you’re not. I’m a horrible person.
B: You’re perfect. And I AM fine.
E: No, you’re not.
B: Really! I’m –
E: NO YOU”RE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pge 91
“You are killing my buzz, Edward.”
Best line so far.

Pge 107
Wow. This is something new. Nice, Smeyer.

Pge 114
First book I’ve read where the perfect character leers.

Pge 124
WHAT?????????? WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Pge 126
?????
There are so many things wrong with this page I cannot even begin to comment on them. Has SMeyer ever learned anything at all about men?

Pge 132
Wow, you REALLY hate yourself Bella.
Plus that’s creepy… a little Edward clone…*shudder*

Pge 133
Wow. That’s almost sweet. Not Edward’s creepy willingness to dispose of his offspring, but Bella’s definition of her baby as ‘my little nudger’. I like that. Shocking.

Pge 135
This little Portugese woman has the right idea. Shout at Bella, too, while you’re at it.

Pge 141
SMeyer just included a quote from Shakespeare:
‘Reason and love keep little company together nowadays’
Is this merely a description of the chapter? Or is she defending her horrible, plot-hole riddled books?

Pge 155
The pedophilia thing is actually kind of cute, and not nearly as messed up as some of the stuff in this book.

Pge 162
Stop telling Seth to shut up. He’s the only cool one of you.

Pge 174
I think I might be ill.

Pge 180
This is twisted.

Pge 181
WHY AM I READING THIS???

Pge 189
Bella plagiarizes.
I knew it.

Pge 189
Lame Shakespeare reference. Useless. It’s just to prove that Bella’s smart.

Pge 198
Why the quadruple exclamation marks? It just minimizes horror instead of enhancing it.

Pge 217
Jasper’s nickname is Jazz?


Pge ???
Are you always going to refer to your child as the ‘….fetus’, Edward?

Pge 253
I know what Rosalie needs a bed for. It’s sort of obvious, Jacob.

Pge 291
I lurve Seth.

Pge 318
Aw, Leah…

Pge 321
Ooo…. Alice/Bella.

Pge 327
Hells yes it’s too weird, Bella.

Pge 456
Where’s the mommy-baby time? Why are they being so mean?

Pge 459
Oh, pur-lease

Pge 484
Smut, smut smut….



Pge 490
I’m amazed how accurate Myth and I were with the Twilight Smut.

Pge 495
Oh, yes she did, Jacob.

Pge 515
Seriously, Bella? You name your child Renesmee and then get annoyed when people shorten it?

Pge 529
Oooh, Tennyson. Pretentious. What, may I ask, is wrong with picture books? I still read picture books, and I’m smarter than Bella. Way to make everyone else feel like their kids are dumb, SMeyer.

Pge 611
Haha. Nice use of index. Stepping out of character, but still.

Pge 611
Misanthropic? It’s blatantly obvious that you are pulling out your thesaurus, Smeyer.

Pge 613
Lesbian Amazon vampires. Awesome.

Pge 615
Don’t be so mean to the awesome lesbian Amazon vampires, Bella.

Pge 617
Typical Bella.

Pge 647
So Bella suddenly has zero problems with humans? After Stephanie Meyer made us sit through ten billion speeches from Edward about how hard human blood is to resist?

Pge 654
For someone who used to be a total waterworks, Bella is shockingly unemotional at this point. I mean, I know vampires don’t cry, but still. It’s your BABY, for crying out loud.

From Then On.
Bella saves the day. Nobody dies. A whole book wasted on a climax that didn’t happen.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Ariel and Tempest

I am going to talk about nationalism.

You may be saying, "Calla, if you were going to write about nationalism, then why did you title your post in reference to your play?"

But it makes sense. Trust me.

So anyway, in my Social 20 book, they talk about nationalism, and what nationalism is. Of course, to define nationalism, one must first define a nation. My Social 20 book has many definitions of a nation (a nation is not a country. A nation-*state* is a country.) and my favorite is: A nation is a group of people who have shared history and who identify as a nation. And nationalism, by extension, is a feeling of pride and love towards your nation and the members of your nation, even if you don't actually know all the members of your nation all that well.

Well, we don't identify as a nation - and to define us as a nation is a stretch, as it would be a very small nation indeed - but I can think of no other word to describe my feelings for the cast of the Tempest but nationalism. (it is this way with most plays - I'm just using the Tempest as an example)

After the play we are exhausted. My head hurts and I can barely keep my eyes open. I left all my energy on the stage, and now I’m drained.
I don’t want to leave, though. Even considering my exhaustion, I would infinitely rather sleep here than go home, than leave these people that I have shared rehearsals and laughter and the nervousness backstage. I know I will see them again – there will be other performances. But it feels as though leaving now, we will be breaking some sort of thread, taking away a secret.

And even if I never see some of you again, we will always have this bond - we have all been a part of something really special.

Now that my serious soul-exposing is over, and now that I have embarrassed you all thoroughly, I will turn to lighter things.

Okay.
I've wanted to do this for a VERY long time, but never really got around to it (because who has time for writing when you're in a play?)

So. When in a play, I tend to create LOTS OF BACKSTORY. LOTS. (Because it's so freaking fun. This isn't thoroughness, trust me - it's just selfishness on my part.)

So I am FINALLY writing it down. But goodness gracious me - in my backstory Caliban is horrible. He's really quite horrible. And Brendan says to me that it's just Ariel's point of view, and in Caliban's backstory Ariel is the horrible one, but I would really like to hear his point of view, because it will take rather a lot of turning around to make Caliban a moral person.

But I'm not an ENTIRELY biased person, because Ariel can be horrible as well. She's amazingly self centered - not arrogant, per se, but she thinks of nothing and no one except as they pertain to her. She has no feeling for Alonso's sadness. She has no opinion of Miranda and Ferdinand's love. She just doesn't think about it, because it does not affect her directly.

So yeah. Ariel hasn't got the greatest moral compass either. I think that the only truly 'good' people in the Tempest are Miranda and Ferdinand and Gonzalo. And possibly the Boatswain. Everyone else does nasty things at some point.

But everyone in the play did a WONDERFUL job!! You all were sooooooo fantastic, and hardworking and dedicated. And all parents get MASSIVE thank yous as well. Thanks SO much for all your help.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Straight razorrrrrs

Goodness, I haven't posted in a while. My play (the Tempest) has been rehearsing lots lately and I has mucho stress. We had our final dress tonight though, and it went WELL and I'm so HAPPY, and my hair is GREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. I dyed my hair green, and it is a beautiful sort of shiny deep-sea green, and I lurves it lots. *covets*

I also got to burn a sleeve off of my best friend's shirt and smear it with mud and generally destroy it. He's Caliban, and it was loads of fun. Plus I get to kick him in the face, which is SO MUCH FUN. YAY adrenaline.

And OOOOOOO, I went and got my hair cut yesterday (before the dying) and the lady cut it with a STRAIGHT RAZOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a props nut and a Sweeney Todd nut and an olden-days nut, and I was THRILLED. It was this beautiful tiny little straight razor with sort of a jagged edge, but it was sooo sharp. I nearly asked her if I could play with it, but then thought better of it. She might have thought I was weird. (goodness only knows why...it's not that weird, is it?)

Anyway, I hadn't known that straight razors were still in use, not ever having gone to a haircutter's before (yes, I know. My mum usually cuts my hair) and I was so happy that they still existed and were in use and were in use on my hair.

So yes, I'm generally happy.

Wish me broken legs! The Tempest opens tomorrow!